Friend Zone: Can men and women be friends?

“Men and Women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.”

When Harry met Sally (1989)

Friend Zone is the part of Understand the Bible which exists to promote friendship, but especially looking at friendship between men and women. The content here was originally written for another website (which no longer exists – see below), but I’ve decided to include it here on UTB.


The contents here are designed to be read in sequence from the beginning. Obviously you can read them in any order you want!

  1. Why does it matter? – why it’s necessary to write about this topic.
  2. Friendship in the Bible – an overview.
  3. Men and Women in the Bible – an overview.
  4. What about immorality? – a careful look at the biggest barrier to friendship between men and women.
  5. Practical Steps – how to start putting some of these things into practice.
  6. Friendship Resources – some helpful resources – books, websites, etc – about friendship.

Where did Friend Zone come from?

A few years ago I started to think about friendship, especially friendship between men and women. It seemed that men and women were being driven apart, more and more: for example, the #MeToo movement seemed to cause men and women to see each other with suspicion. Unfortunately the church didn’t seem to have a good response. In fact, the only real response the church seemed to display was versions of the Billy Graham rule (which I’ve written about on my blog).

As I was thinking about this, I felt that I should start writing about it – so I started a website called Friend Zone. It was designed to promote the idea of friendship between men and women. Unfortunately the website never really gained traction – it only ran for about two years before I pulled the plug. It never really felt right to have a whole website devoted to it.

However, I still believe there is a need for it. I have decided to make the content available here on Understand the Bible.

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